If only I could go back and begin again!

Life plays fate games with us

It keeps us always in guess.

I live with a dread in my chest

What I may find out next?

and even if there is nothing to worry

I search for a woe in a hurry.

A voice keeps telling at the back of my head

I have to cry over all the leaves shed.

Despite the changes in season

a part of me dread for no reason.

As people around me hustle and bustle

I m left with my buddies, none other than hassles.

My heart is one delicate piece, I m so broken

life has left me thoroughly shaken.

This is not how I wanted to be

I want to be strong, proud to be me.

I have no idea of a content life

to subdue my foolish fears and bring myself alive.

I m the only one to be blamed

letting my negatives take over the positive flame.

Damage done to my life cannot be undone

there is no helping hand to lend.

In this adventurous journey called life 

at any rate, we have to resolve and thrive.

If only I could go back and begin again

to be a good role model for others, but in vain.

International Day of Happiness

Hi all..

Its 20^th  March  2013. The first ever  International Day of Happiness. It was a few months ago that United Nations finally marked a day for happiness  too. It is a movement by United Nations to promote happiness as a universal goal as it is one of the main factors  that determine the well being of humans .

So what is your  idea of Happiness?Lemme think... What is it that makes me happy ?Getting to spend quality time with my family is one. Getting excited and inspired of small things of creativity and getting engaged in those activities makes me happy. Like blogging for now. The hobbies may vary with time. But it gives me the same feeling- “Happiness”. Holidays used to be one of my happiness when I had a job. The feeling of joy when weekend was about to arrive was so immense.I can see it in my husband who always looks forward to weekends so that he can relax. Whatever it is, all these things are only a few of the reasons to be happy.. But if you are not basically happy with your life , its difficult to find happiness in all the small things around you.

Talking about the happiness among  people who are above the poverty line ,its sad  to know that most of the people are unhappy. So even if we believe that money can buy happiness(Who isn’t happy if he gets a good pay, a beautiful house, car and all?) its not entirely true to the core.To achieve happiness through out, we have to make it a point to lead a stress free balanced life. Some of the factors I believe which contributes to happiness are

#1 Job satisfaction: If  you are not happy with your job, chances are you will remain unhappy forever. So take the first step. Do whatever you can to change the situation. If this is not what you wanted to do, try hard and change the field. If its not about the field and you are disappointed on the fact that your  sincere work is not being given much recognition, then discuss with your boss on the matter. If still there is no  benefit, then act fast.Try hard and get another job and ditch the old company ASAP.Years will be wasted if you are late in taking action.

#2 Healthy relationship: Wife husband should be in good terms with each other. I am so lucky to get a loving and understanding husband. Of course we are just happily married (almost 2 years). Talking about the couples who are married for many years and busy with their kids, Even if they love each other, some of them crave for their old times.The magic disappears when you hoard your feelings. Small gestures of love and care spreads happiness throughout one's life. Say what you feel, serve him the best , be there with him always and he will be always there for you. I believe it’s a give and take policy! After all this relationship is not like that of a mother and a kid where mother is willing to do anything for her kid, expecting nothing in return. No person is perfect. I have negatives. He also has negatives.But if we fairly complement each other, that makes a happy, good  couple.

#3 Stop worrying: Now this is an area where I have to put effort and more practice. I m basically an easily worried person. I get easily tensed thinking how some things gonna work out? What should I actually decide about it? And the endless list of questions arise in my mind despite the fact that I am a true God believer. I know I should leave everything to God.Yeah that’s what I do.But the fact remains that we just cant sit idle leaving everything to God. God wants us to take decisions when the situation demands.And we should truly believe in that decision once we take it.

   

#4 Stress management: I think am ok in it.One big piece of advice from my husband is to never ever allow job stress to creep over our family life. Stress should be managed somehow, frustrations should not be thrown over your family. It will ruin the happy family life.

#5 Spirituality and gratitude: Believe in God. Spirituality is a must for a balanced life and the hereafter. I do pray to the Almighty Allah. But I wish I could dedicate more time in spirituality. Its one of my constant resolutions which of course is never maintained. Sometimes for a week I stick to the routine of reading good books on it and then again I will be back to my old routine .mm.. wish I could do something to improve my determination.Speaking about gratitude we should always feel thankful to God. There may be hardships in life.But remember all the good things you have which most of the people in this world don’t have. Shelter, food and family are truly blessings from God.

#6 Do good deeds: Serve others. Make it a practice to give more.Of course, in todays world if you are too good  people will see you as a doormat .Dont let others walk over you.But its good to be good.Do good, be good and you will feel good about yourself.When you find out you make others happy, you will feel happy yourself.

#7 Avoid shopaholism: I wasn’t and I am never much of a shopaholic. So I believe I don’t have to improve much in this area. Yeah we all know that it gives us a happy feeling when we buy something new. But I believe one should strictly refrain from being a shopaholic. When you buy something it gives you only temporary happiness and then what? You will have to go buy something again to make yourself happy. Its time for a thought for the shopaholics out there. Ask yourself “ Don’t I have enough items in my possession?Adding something to my already big collection of shoes/clothes/accessories is what that really makes me  happy?Thinking of all the blessings I already have, isnt more than enough for me to be happy?"

These are only a few things now i can think of.

What do YOU think that makes you happy?

Rain

Let the rain drizzle

and my grief melt and dribble.

Let the rain borrow 

all my aching sorrows.

Even if its for a few moments

I will be free from the torment

Cause such is the pain

joy,I can no longer feign.

When the rain dance

it gives me a chance

to be light as a feather

in such a damp weather.

I can now swirl in glee

feeling all my sorrows flee.

Oh rain! can you stay forever

so that my sorrows come never.

Back with a Bang!

Heylo friends!!!
     I m back into blogging!I cant believe its one year since I last posted.Time seems to fly super fast.Since when I got busy with work, I have completely ignored my blog. A few months back I left my job and moved into U.A.E with my hubster. Enjoying the new role of a homemaker. What is the routine?Its cooking for my husband, night outs and occasional eat outs at food courts and restaurants which I enjoy.But but.. something somewhere is missing .I m  a kinda person who always find something amusing to keep myself active and busy.But somehow, my whole routine has changed since when I reached here. Of course I love cooking. But when I m finished with it and he is gone to office, I m doing nothing! I 've become a couch potato! Very lazy, very sleepy and going through facebook wall all the time.Easily got bored of this routine and started wondering "I was not like this!!What is that I used to do?What were my hobbies and interests?" And then I came back to my long forgotten blog. I like reading. But no heavy stuff ok. I do like writing.Especially poems.Sometimes I scribble some words here and there in pieces of paper I get at that moment and places it somewhere. Never ever bothered to collect and arrange it, let alone edit and post it in the blog. Poetry is a beauty. Poetry-Words arranged beautifully to portray a truth of life or something entirely opposite to reality born in someone's wild imagination. Sometimes a combination of both.I LOVE poetry!

My new found interest is painting. I admire art work.I am now a bit inspired seeing my sister-in-law's and my brother's paintings.I m planning to give it a try. The problem with me is I am interested in almost everything that is creative and wish to try everything but not skilled in anything particular. I dont know what my real thing is.Sorry  if I sound wierd. Thats me! I m a wanderer in my own thoughts in a never ending search to find what my calling is. Whatever it is, I will be exploring  my "SELF" and will be sharing in this li'l space of mine. Hope you all spend a li'l bit of time to run your eyes through my posts.You will find my creations, my thoughts and reviews and other pretty things that are cute enough to grab my attention. Some of them may be crap thoughts for you.But still I hope you will get something somewhere in this blog that you can relate to.And will be happy to hear any suggestions on my blog throughout.

Stay Tuned!

Wish you a Happy day ahead!

A love poem

"Things around have never been the same
since when my eyes met urs..
Whatever I do, its amazing
the way I end up dreamin of u..
How can anyone be lost in someone's thoughts so long?
Is this the way one feel in love?
Your thoughts give me a restless heart
longing for your presence every second.
A heart for a heart, is what we seek in love
I m lucky to get a beautiful heart like yours..
Day by day, we are getting closer..
I'm in love with love and with you, my love.
Your spell is working wonders on my heartbeats
I feel like , I'm not mine anymore..
Falling in the depth of your love, I realize
all I now need, is to be with u.."Azmina Baboo

Self Exploration

Do anyone among us make an attempt to know ourselves completely? I know, there is no need of the word “completely” in that sentence. Because, most of us may not have taken even the first effort to know oneself. With a fast- paced life offered by today’s world, who has got time for such things? And even if time provided , why engage in such rubbish things?

Then, there is a second category of people who are wishing to learn about themselves, but gets fed up easily or is somewhat afraid of what they may find out. I am one among them. Frankly speaking, I have a tendency to back out sometimes from knowing or exploring myself. One is afraid of what they are gonna find out. We human beings have both positive and negatives sides. While we are happy to find out what our positives are ,we keep a closed eye to our negatives. We can work upon our negatives and slowly improve, but for that we have to understand our negatives first. So knowing oneself is necessary.

Its in human nature to run away from problems. When confronted with a difficult situation , we face it and try to solve it only in the last minute, when there are no other ways to escape. Thats what I sometimes do. When I am fed up with giving my thoughts to a problem, i just drop that train of thoughts, which gives me a temperory escape. Its exactly the wrong thing to do. Cause one’s thoughts form the base of one’s self, No matter how negative or discouraging the thoughts are. “The way one thinks”, defines the person and running away from one’s own thoughts means running away from oneself. Of course, we can improve on our way of thinking, but should not run away from one’s thoughts itself.

Sometimes the way of learning one self turns out to be wrong. Some are bound to find only their flaws, That kind of self exploration should be got ridden soon without getting messed up with oneself. If started with the right spirit, one will slowly learn to identify with their positives, aims, dreams, together with accepting their flaws. You have just to make a gentle start on exploring yourself. Eventually your hidden talents will come out, that you thought you never had.

Even though I am always curious about knowing myself, i sometimes gets stuck somewhere in between. Quite usual! Because knowing oneself is a tremendously complicated task. And the fact remains that , no one among us has ever explored the so called “self” completely. Self Exploration continues throughout our whole life. Things this much said, it seems like I am sounding too much philosophical nowadays. Maybe the side-effects of “self-exploration”.;):D

A Battle between Heart and Mind!

In difficult times of mine,

I ask my heart, what to do?

But my mind crops up yelling

"I know better than she does!"

I find it hard to decide,

to whom should I listen?

Why is it that both of them

never goes in the same boat?

Should have made my life more easier

if they always sung in synch.

But no!They ends up fighting

leaving me in a state of apathy.

Heart and mind are always in a rattle

engaged in a never ending battle.

What will happen in the end?

Lets wait and see, who's gonna bend?

Azmina Baboo.